Pointless Walks......

  It was just another morning in a long line of mornings. Everything was average. Thinking back I can't even remember what day of the week it was. It doesn't feel like it was a Monday or a Friday so I guess it was one of those midweek nondescript ones. Lets say it was a Tuesday. That feels right.  I am sure if I had known how important it was I would have made a note. I really should have made a note. I should have made a note. Some morning. It looked like it was going to rain. It always looked like it was going to rain. My life is as my country average, grey and in need of an umbrella. So get up. As quietly as possible for, y'know, reasons.  Go downstairs and watch an episode of whatever shit reality show I am watching this week.  Cook some sausages for breakfast. I know I will get shit for this. I will get shit anyhow so why not.  Get dressed making the minimum amount of effort possible I need to look grey, for my grey job where I work with grey people doing g...

 Another day passes. Wandering around to pass the time. The usual routine. Lush for a treat then go look at the records and the games and see if any are priced correctly. There was a man looking at the records really slowly. Stopping me. Bought some rubbish that I might end up liking and a film to watch. Went to the cinema. Sat on my own. Was mildly worried there might be some annoying kids in there but they ended up ok. Got some dinner, sat on my own. The only empty table was a table for six. Sat there and looked at the NME. A lady asked if she and her two children could share the table. How could I say no? Was odd that she asked. Not used to the politeness. 'Of course you can, have a seat'. Walked home and bought some chemicals and something that might fix my face. Having read it at home it won't. Walked the dog while listening to people talking about things that interest me in passing. Came home. Watching TV for babies as always. Then passing the time. Communicating or n...

Warning. This is a shitpost. I am just here. I want something to do rather than look at Zoe Kazan and sigh. I am friends with someone and it's basically an abusive relationship. I don't think they do it on purpose but I think it's something I need to get out of. I can't. I have nowhere else to go. These are isolated times. I keep saying they will only appreciate me when I am dead. Time to die. So do I like Girls? Fucked if I know. I have watched it all twice so there must be something. The characters are in general awful (even Shoshanna has her moments) and some of them are fucking hateful. It's made by rich entitled people who are trying so hard to shock because they can. The storylines are not great except for now and again where they are incredible. The ending of the whole thing sucks because they basically cheat. So do I like Girls? Thinking about it. Probs not. I should really watch it again though. It's something I would like to talk through with someone b...

What am I expecting to happen here? What is my best-case scenario? Is it going to be a romance for the ages? No, it’s going to be GREAT then ok then an absolute nightmare. I would imagine that they are less interested in me than I am in them. Plus, I am nearly dead. No-one wants someone that’s nearly dead. They pretend they do. But they really don’t. They just want you to drift from nearly-dead into actual dead. Then they can stop caring and start living. So, what I am expecting? They are drifting away but they will drift back, then away and then back again. Like a rowboat tied to the side of a local park. If I get in the rowboat and drift down the river all that will happen is that I will fall in. I can’t swim very well so I will be a drowner. I have already drowned 4 times. I can’t afford to drown again. I am running out of breath. There is no breath left in me. So, what am I expecting? I am being very needy. I have no right to be very needy. They were needy and I w...

  PART 1    Well that sounds like an idea. I'm in a tricky situation because I'm never really gonna talk about her behind her back. But just give it space, be kind and don't put any stress or pressure on her.   No no of course not and I don’t expect you too   I just wanted someone to go to who I knew wouldn’t tell the world    But yeah thats the last thing I want to do to her   Also: may I ask how you acquired my number?   I won't even tell her we are talking because that would bother her. My loyalty is always gonna be to her but I like you a lot and I think you would be kind to her so...   I asked for it is how I will delete it if it bothers you   Sorry was having my tea Mhm i get you, I do want to be there for her I really do No no its alright I just wondered is all haha not bothered   No worries. As I said just give her a bit of space and see what happens. If you want to chat I am always knocking about and I can keep a secre...