Pointless Walks......

It’s a new way of working. We are all apart. We are all in little bubbles. We are all on different levels. Nothing is constant. One thing is constant. New little windows that look like some MS DOS thing crossed with someone lost in the 90’s on IM. ASL? So that’s all everyone is glued to right now. Desperate to speak and hear about the people that are not here. Not so worried about the people that are here. Now we are in boxes. Now we are surrounded by Perspex the only way out is through these little windows. Internet friends. Things that are being said digitally may not reflect what is being said actually. It may effect a different version of the current reality. I understand the peoples need to escape into these e:holes. I really do. It’s an addiction. I was addicted. I was totally addicted and then I was less addicted and there is no reason to be there now at all. Uninstall. The issue that I have is that I am not sure it is clear I have uninstalled. My persona ...

Everything is infinite. Space never ends. You have a finite number of books left to read in your lifetime. You have a finite number of films you will have time to watch. You have a finite number of games you can play. Have you reached saturation point yet? Can you enjoy everything you have? There are a finite number of drinks and food. There is a finite number of times you can get drunk. There are a finite number of times you can be kind or unkind to people. You have a finite number of kisses you can send out into the world. You have a finite number of times you can tell someone how you feel about them. You have a finite number of times you can have sex with someone. Have you had your last? Have you had your last kiss? There are a finite number of people left for you to meet. There are a finite number of times your heart will beat. You have a finite number of breaths left. You have a finite number of days in the ground before you are ash. Everything ...

I told you the world was dying. Everyone just said I was being Miley, but I carried on saying it. I carry on saying it. You all think that this time next year you will be out there riding the rollercoasters again. You all thin that you can pack the cinema's and watch someone with super-powers saving the world while the actual world crumbles around you. Bad things have happened this year. You continue to debate the number of genders and if it's PC to identify as a penguin. Bad things have happened this year. You continue to consume, you live on piles of things you don't need while your paracetamol, toilet paper, flour and tinned pies rot in the pantry. Bad things have happened this year. You continue to go on the internet and shout 'look at me, I am special, I have something' Bad things have happened this year. You create new dances and watch as a million people copy those dances. Bad things have happened this year. You pump out more children in the hope it ...

Who? I don't know their names. I never do. He was the first. I wanted to start with a boy as its a bit cliche to just start murdering girls. He looked ok. I didn't like his hat. It was one of those oversized beanie hats. You know a Smurf hat. The kind of hat you can put your dreads in. He didn't have dreads. He was a white guy. I would never kill an ethnic minority. They go through too much shit anyhow without me piling on. I didn't hang around to check his pockets. I just made sure he was dead and left. I could check in the paper or online. I can't be bothered. His name would mean nothing. Let's say he was called Martin. He looked like a Martin. Where? I wanted to start in Brighton. It's at the bottom and I want to work my way up. I like Brighton anyhow. It's a good place to go for a holiday. People call it 'London by the sea'. It's not London by the sea because IT'S NOT FUCKING SHIT. If you live in London you are safe. I won't...

And then they all stopped talking. What had they been saying? It was definitely something to do with me. I don’t mind. It just makes me laugh to myself. I need to laugh. Even if it’s just an internal thing.  The guy with no hair is round again. Buzz buzz buzz . You open the window but the wasp won’t flay out. He would be better off out there in the world but he would sooner be banging into windows. You bump into the criminal by accident. What do you say? Does he know I know? He must do. He knows the environment. He knows what’s happening. What do you say? You say ‘alright’ and then you move past. You are glad you don’t have your child with you. That would have been weird.  You go back through history. You see all the relics and ignore them for plastic hiding in cabinets.  You are melting. Your skin is coming off. The machine won’t work. Why won’t the machine work? And you try and you try and you try and everyone is looking at you and you are melting.  An...

I keep failing at Sudoku. It looks like I have finished but there is always a number out of place. I thought of a good way to describe being at work. It’s like going to a party that someone has HAD to invite you to but never expects you to actually turn up. That’s how it is. You are just standing in the corner drinking through a straw and watching everyone else have fun. They kind of know you are there and make a token effort to come over and have a chat but they eventually give up and don’t notice when you have leave. That’s how it is.  The music is terrible. It’s the very worst music from the 60’s,70’s,80’s and 90’s punctuated by afverts for things that you don’t want. I am not the demographic for this.  Oh, the electronic scheduling system has mailed me. That will be the best interaction I have all day. I have had a headache for 3 days now. It’s the kind of headache you get when you have not drunk enough water. I have drunk enough water. I have drunk all the ...

So I am in the corner. All alone. That’s not really a bad thing as I don’t , as a rule, like people. I have to find things to do. So I write and I write and someone will eventually ask me what I am doing. I am just passing the time but I don’t need them to know that. It’s just something to make the day pass. In isolation.  The weather has been too hot but now it’s raining. I have been camping in my back garden because this is the kind of adventure I can go on. A really small adventure. It’ was ok. Something a bit different. I bet the neighbours thought we were very weird. We are not weird, we are just disorganised and poor. I look out the window and watch everything collapse. The roofs look very neat and tidy. Slates in little neat lines. There is a 20 minute conversation about crisps. This is par for the course. This is just another day. New blood has not brought new conversations.  There was a penis on my desk when I arrived today. Surely this is sexual harassment...