Skip to main content

December 20th

It's hard being me sometimes. I know it's my own fault but its really hard to hold up the walls that stop other people getting in. It's draining.

Maybe that's why I am tired all the time. Well that and the fact I live off cake.

Watching the Survivor season finale. I love Survivor. I am the only person I know that watches it as it's not on in this country. Greek Darran used to watch it but I don't speak to him any more which makes me a bit sad as he was a good friend.

I am dreading Pink Tim turning up as well with a bag of stuff. Hopefully he won't this year. I haven't seen him in forever which is terrible. I am just going to hide until Christmas is done and done.

Other than that work was work.

My mother came over and judged me and the way I live which she always does.

I have the cough that everyone else has had hiding in the back of my throat ready to attack.

Played Spiderman, listened to podcasts, signed for delivery.

Just another day.

Sorry.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Penultimate

This is not a suicide note.  I am not allowed to do that. That would make me the bad guy. If things were a bit different though I would deffo be eating toast in the bath. I hope I get ill again. That would be perfect. The only problem with getting ill last time was that I got better. I was ready. I was ‘at peace’. Then, as now, I have had enough. I am always tired, I always hurt. I am never shown any love and I don’t really do anything I enjoy. All the things I am supposed to enjoy either I don’t or I get stopped from doing by other people who are supposed to care about me. I am now old enough to know I will never get what I want in my life. This is it, my best days are behind me and I wasted them on making do. The sun comes out and I get sunburn in the hope that it will fix my skin. In the hope it will make me better. It just makes my skin fall off in different ways and hurt from a new angle. I look for stuff to fill the box I live in. The space is getting smaller and ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Last Sunflower

  This is love. This is from a place of love. This is from love island. I am an internet stalker. I watch and I look. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I cry. I like to know that you are ok. Are you ok? You seem ok. You seem happy. That makes me happy. I am glad you are where you are right now. Even if it killed me to get you there. Slowly. I am transitional. I am the inbetweener. I do it all the time. I hope it works out for everyone. It never really works out for me, but I get people there. That is my X-Man power.  When I met you, you were pretending to be happy. You weren’t happy although you had the sweetest smile. It even spread to your eyes sometimes when you weren’t looking. Super cute. Supergirl.  I used to listen to you telling everyone how blissful you were. I believed you. I believed you for about a year. Then I found out that wasn’t the case. Bruises and all. And then we were happy for a bit Not for very long. Just for a bit and why? Why would you be happy with ...
1 comment
Read more