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Half-life

Are we done?

Not yet. Soon. It was always 'I will see you soon'. Not so much right now.

I can see an end to this. I have had enough.

I give and give and give and nothing.

I am never good enough.

I am never your first, second, third choice.

I thought I could fix you. You don't want to be fixed. Being broken is very much your thing.

Laying at the side of the road in a million pieces. Waiting for someone to pick you up.

Someone better than me.

I have thrown money at the wall.

I have thrown my soul at the wall.

I have been the wall.

What will happen if the wall is taken down.

We will both be vapour.

Every day I love you less and less.

Every day I realise I have been an idiot.

I am not want you want. So you can't have me.

Not for much longer.

I will always be there. I will alway hang around in the shadows. 

You won't see me, but I will be there.

I will pick you up when you fall over.

Or maybe I won't. Who knows.

Maybe I will have found someone by then who wants saving and isn't just pretending to want saving.

Maybe I will find someone that says thank you and helps me when I need help.

Maybe I will be cared for as I care for others.

Maybe I will know someone who remembers my birthday and knows how to say my name properly?

I have known all of this. I have known all of this since I have known you.

I never cared.

Now I care.

My heart has bled out.

Are we done?

Not yet but soon.

Let's just get through November.

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