It was just another morning in a long line of mornings.
Everything was average.
Thinking back I can't even remember what day of the week it was. It doesn't feel like it was a Monday or a Friday so I guess it was one of those midweek nondescript ones. Lets say it was a Tuesday. That feels right.
I am sure if I had known how important it was I would have made a note. I really should have made a note.
I should have made a note.
Some morning. It looked like it was going to rain. It always looked like it was going to rain. My life is as my country average, grey and in need of an umbrella.
So get up. As quietly as possible for, y'know, reasons.
Go downstairs and watch an episode of whatever shit reality show I am watching this week.
Cook some sausages for breakfast. I know I will get shit for this. I will get shit anyhow so why not.
Get dressed making the minimum amount of effort possible I need to look grey, for my grey job where I work with grey people doing grey things for a grey amount of time. Doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
And repeat.
The same 20 minute walk listening to the same people talking or some loud angry music if I feel the need. Hoping not to bump into people I have let down because I am a terrible terrible person. Evil. Pure Evil.
If it IS a Tuesday everyone will have their bins out which of course makes it impossible to get down the pavement. Couple that with the cyclists avoiding the one way system by going the wrong way down the pavement and you realise my walk into work is the equivalent of an 80's arcade game. One that's been set on hard mode to rape you of as much money as possible. One that I have practised every day so I am good enough to get my name on the high score table.
M. E. X.
I have played this arcade game every day for what seems like forever.
Ho hum.
The shouty man walks past wishing me a good morning in a voice so loud I can hear it over Shellac of North America played at EVOL. He's kind of like a drunk homeless tramp but neither drunk or homeless and quite well dressed. I kind of wish I knew more about him. Anything about him. It's the most interesting thing on the journey and usually the most interesting thing that happens all day. By a mile.
Nearly there, just passing the garage that is the source of most of my daily meals. Sweets, crisps and bad sandwiches. Oh and alcohol. It's very very important to note that it sells alcohol.Strong cheap alcohol. It also has a cash machine that sometimes works and sometimes just steals your money. Like the world's most boring fruit machine. One day it might pay out. We live in hope.
From the garage I can see the usual suspects smoking in the car park where I work It's officially a non smoking site but there are shelters and bins and cancer and mess all piled up in a big heap. Unofficially of course. Officially this place is a lot of things. The reality is different. At least for now.
Crossing the car park it's difficult for me not to split my sides at the dozens of 'amusing' private registration plates trying to run me over. I notice a blonde girl crying in the corner and being comforted. That kind of thing happens a lot here. An awful lot, There is always someone unhappy here. I work in the valley of upset. It's just the kind of place it is.
Faces I know and faces I don't know melt into one. Also not unusual as the company I work for seems to employ a revolving door policy. A handful of people that had been there years mixed with kids straight out of school and over qualified no hopers hit by redundancy or losing their jobs in some other way. All mixing together in a massive disappointment cocktail.
This is how I got to work in a place I thought of more as a creche rather than a place of employment. A creche for the emotionally disturbed. I was ok then myself. Not yet mentally ill, but that was round the corner like a pothole.
I have the moment of panic when I think I cant find my pass and they wont let me in the building. It's there though. It's always there. With a sense of resignation I go through the door and head towards the stairs.
Then everything changes forever.
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