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February 12th

So I went to work when I didn't have to and I watched Hall Pass when I didn't have to. I need to rethink my life choices.

Played a bit of Mass Effect Andromeda (again) and still find it. confusing mess. Played a bit of Spyro 3 as well but wasn't into that either. Come on Crackdown. Be good. Get me back into games.

Its the week when I don't have to go in till late which is a good thing. It means I don't have to get up into the cold and the dark and it means I don't have to spend as much of the evening on my own.

Let me just turn this You Tuber off. He is a bellend.

Different You Tuber. More acceptable but fake. Just background noise. All my life is background noise. Apart from the background noise.

I don't really think I have anything more to say so let me find something to copy and paste to fill the space.

From my bio...





I was born and nothing much happened.

I was ignored a lot by my parents (although they will deny it now) and I didn’t have any brothers or sisters to fight with or go on adventures. I sat in a room and read books on my own. I apparently went to the seaside a lot which I don’t remember. 

This is a history of my like. This is me. It’s true. 

It’s like your life. Nothing much happens. 

Except when of course it does.


1
The early boring bits.

I hate reading biographies.

If for example it’s a biography of a pop star I want to read about them being a pop star. I want to hear about the drugs and the alcohol and the fucking and the fucking drugs and the fucking alcohol. I want to hear about their amps blowing up and killing a small child by accident. I don’t want to hear about their paperbound in Dagenham or about how their uncles best friend once touched them meaning that they are not a pop star but are in fact a misunderstood tortured artist. Who makes pop music. Shit pop music.

I was born in 1971. But for the sake of this I was born in 1990.

I will give you a few pages about what happened in the 19 year gap between me being born and my actual birth. Feel free to skip ahead. If this is a film or a TV show now is the time for a piss break. Go on. 

Random things I remember from the interim. These are how I remember them. Not nescessarily how they happened.

1986. Hearing Psychocandy for the first time and learning that my brain is attuned to music that not everyone likes. Two years later I went to college and everyone in the whole world decided they liked the same stuff. I broke up from school and everyone was just as I had known them for five or more years. We had the summer holidays. They reinvented themselves as wierdos. I knew that they were lying. I had always been a wierdo.

1988. Speaking of time at college. I remember mainly not going and eating endless packets of crisps and watching wrestling which was on TV at the time. It was WWF at the time. I loved it. This becomes important later so pay attention. I also remember going to the video shop and either renting out 5 videos, watching them and taking them back before teatime. This saved a lot of money . If I didn’t do that I would rent one thing and watch it literally (and I do mean literally in the correct sense not how the kids mean it) 5 times. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 : Dream Warriors springs to mind. I then won that in a competition in the NME. The NME played an important part in my life.

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