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Nothing happens around here.

There might be a new hairdressers that opens or a charity shop but that’s about it.

There was the girl that jumped off the bridge last year but that was it. No-one knew why (someone knew why) but apparently she had tried it before and the only difference this time was that there was no-one there to stop her.

It was very sad. I met her a few times. She seemed ok. Not the type to throw herself off a bridge but what do I know? Someone’s life has changed forever. Someone else has a hole that they can’t fill (they will fill it one day) and someone else is looking on the internet with the morbid sense of interest we all have in these things. Dominoes.

There are people who are happy and people who are sad. There are people who pretend to be happy but are really sad. Are there people who pretend to be sad but are really happy? I don’t know. I suppose that there must be. There must be people out there that feel or think pretty much everything.

I just sit here. I look out one of two windows. The one that shows me everyone has a more interesting time of things than me with their baking competitions and internal dramas that are more intense than mine. Maybe they are rescuing their family from an empty building maybe they are just dealing with the end of the planet by meteor or alien invasion. A more interesting time than me. 

The other window looks out on what was once quite a quiet street but has actually been invaded by snooker playing gymnasts and closing down clothing factories. There is a park where people walk their dog or just walk. There are the people that use my life as a bypass. I sit here and I just watch.

If I am very lucky I can reflect one window in the other and watch them both at the same time. The real and the hypereal. Life passing. Tick tock.

Sometimes people come to the door to check on me and what I would like to buy. Sometimes it’s the postman with something of interest but less so these days. Sometimes it’s just someone who wants to bang on a door. I very rarely answer it. 

For some reason I answered it today. And here we are. 

I say nothing ever happens around here. Well hardly ever.

‘You’ve got her don’t you’ she screamed shoving a photo in my face.

It was one of those moments where everything collapses in on itself. Where there is too much information to process. Where everything falls apart…

…..luckily. For once. Everything snapped back together again.

I had never seen this person in my life. I looked at the photo. I had never seen that person either.

‘Er, I don’t think so.’

‘You’ve got her. I know you have her’

‘I don’t know what you are talking about’

I was about to slam the door in her face and hide for a bit until she went away but then she started to cry. It wasn’t a massive wail or a scream. It was just a steady flow of silent tears. The worst kind.

‘Give her back. Give her back. She’s all I have. She’s all I have’

She kept saying that. She kept telling me that this person I had never seen before was all that she had. She kept saying it. Over. And. Over.

Then she said something different.

‘Let me in’

For some reason

‘er OK’

I let her in.

‘I am sorry the place is such a tip, I just moved in and haven’t finished sorting things out yet’

I hadn’t just moved in. I had been there for over 20 years. I just couldn’t be bothered to do anything. My house was not a home. It was just a box to keep stuff in. The box was getting smaller as the stuff got more and more and more and more. 

She ignored me and pushed her way past. 

Then I lost her. I could hear her banging around so I knew that she hadn’t left the house. My emotions were turning from being surprised to being very annoyed to being a little bit scared. What was happening here.

Too much to process. 

I decided that the best course of action was to put the kettle on. Put the TV on and wait.

So I did that.

I managed to get through about 2 episodes of ‘generic weekday morning selling house program’ before I remembered she was there. I remembered she was there because she arrived back in front of me and once again asked.

‘Where is she?’

I turned off the television.

‘I am sorry. I think you have the wrong person, the wrong house and the wrong idea. Where is who?’

‘She’ The women waved the picture at me again.

‘Yes, but what’s her name?’

‘I can’t remember’

This struck me as very odd but I just sighed. Too much had already happened .

‘Ok, what’s your name?’

‘I can’t remember that either’

‘Will you please get out then, if that’s alright with you?’

‘No. I am not leaving without her’

‘But she’s not here’

‘Oh’

I sighed. There was nothing on the TV.

‘Would you like a cup of tea?’

She didn’t answer so I made her one anyhow.

She sat herself down and I went into what passes for the kitchen. I took this opertunity to look at what I was dealing with.

I would guess that she was about 30 and she wasn’t looking her best. Obviously she had things on her mind and personal hygene wasn’t one of them. Now I am not one to talk. I generally find no reason to make an effort on a daily basis because there is no reason to make an effort on a daily basis. I have also badly let myself go but I try to keep clean. I imagine if she had a shower and a quick change of clothes she would look a lot better. A lot better than me anyhow. I think she had dark blonde hair but it might have been brown. I think she was about five 6 and overweight but she had so may layers of clothing on it was super hard to tell. She did however have nice makeup on which was weird. As someone who is used to hanging out with the type of girl who doesn’t wear makeup it was something I appreciated. 

She needs a name and not to spoil anything at all we never really find out what it is so I will call her Karen from now on. It’s easy to spell. I was going to call her Paige but that’s a bit edgy for what she is and was. 

I handed her a mug

‘Sugar’ she barked

I took it back off her and went into the kitchen. I only had brown sugar which I had for when I tried and failed to make Mojitos once. Why would I have white sugar? I hoped she wouldn’t notice.

She did.

‘Disgusting’ she said still managing to drink it down.

I had forgotten for a little while that she was essentially a home invader so I now began to get annoyed again.

‘So if you could be going now’

‘Not without her’

‘I have told you I don’t know who she is. Why do you think she is here?’

‘I saw her come in. I saw her’

‘When?’

‘Last night’

Nothing ever happens here. Nothing happened last night. I played Dragon Quest till 8pm. Watched some garbage TV and then went to bed to watch You Tube on my laptop until I fell asleep. It was awesome.

‘What time? I mean what time about did she come here?’’

‘I don’t remember I was asleep’

‘What do you mean you were asleep’

‘I saw her when I was asleep’ 

‘Ok you need to go now’

Again ‘Not without her’

I was at one of those points where I now didn’t know what to do so I just sat down. She seemed harmless enough and was obviously distressed so I didn’t want to be mean to her and I wasn’t the kind of person who would physically remove her. It didn’t seem like it was worth wasting the police’s time with it so what to do?

So I just sat there and put the TV back on.