Pointless Walks......

Spiderman - PS4 This is basically a harassment simulator with dozens of randoms barking orders at you to do stuff. If you are not murking mans you are murking different mans or fat mans or mans with rocket launchers. You are being harassed by the cops, prisoners, super cops, your girlfriend, your aunt, the citizens of the world, some homeless people, cat burglars, scientists, supervillains oh and pigeons. You are swinging through the city gracefully unless you press the wrong button and then you are banging into buildings. But mainly being harassed. It's ok in short bursts but its very samey and not as good as Crackdown which came out 80 years ago on the Oric One. The DLC is more of the samey. 3 G's. If you want to contact me here Computer and Video Games, Gamesmaster or Games TM I will work for you for minimum wage. Edge can fuck right off.

Watching 'The Inbetweeners' (the Thorpe Park one). Series One Good. Series Two Better. Series Three Mostly Dogshit. First Film Half Dogshit. Second Film Full Dogshit. Anyhow a trailer comes on and it looks alright. Like a really cheesy but fun comedy that you would enjoy but never admit enjoying. Turns out it's Hollyoaks. Thought that was Brookside with attractive people in it. Oh The Good Place is starting on Channel 4. It's quite good. Today was a 'waiting in for parcels day' where you are scared to leave the house because you know the moment they do they will sprint to the front door, scribble something illegible on a card and fling it through the letterbox. Oh its the 'friend' one now. Spectacular. I am aware that none of this makes sense.

So skipped a day. Just forgot. Sorry. There is nothing to say anyhow. Nothing happened. It rained an awful lot. So much I thought I was going to have to build a boat. No animals came. Sitting around to the extent that my back is hurting and I am walking like a hunchback. There is no point me being here. I should have just gone to work. Sitting around talking to people I don't know and who definitely don't know me is how I pass the time. They are talking about court cases. How ironic. I don't go to these placed to talk about court cases. Can't find the energy to find someone to fix my roof. I think I am just going to watch it collapse. Maybe it will fall on my head. Maybe I will be buried. I think I need some chocolate. Listening to other different people talking about talking. It is somewhat interesting. I need to read something interesting. I need to find a story that is not mine to lose myself in. I need to live someone else's adventure. Hopefully it...

I am giving this one a title as before it was just putting the date on twice. There's possibly a way to fix that but I can't be bothered to look for it right now. So another day and another change and I just want to be left alone. Other people seem to find that impossible and follow me around my life like some kind of pacifist terminator. We won't kill you but we wills top you doing what you want. What you planned to do. Just because. Our schedule is more important than yours. Day in day out. Another annoyance is when you tell people you have stopped drinking, y'know because you become 'that' person when you do, and they keep on buying you alcohol as a lazy present. I am not strong enough to just pour it away. You brought it into my house and made me adopt it. Why can't people understand what not drinking means? Other than that I git the Christmas records out of the loft and was relieved to see that the endless summer hadn't destroyed them. I...

Formatting this has made it look terrible. Oh well. Who cares? Spent the day doing things I didn't want to do and being harassed by other people. What fun. As a reward got to eat my body weight (which is considerable) in Chinese food and soft scoop ice cream while some people wanted to snatch my plate away before my fork had even touched it. Went on a bus which is something I am not ever happy doing and learn't that they now cost more than it would to chart a helicopter. A helicopter made out of gold. Flown by a supermodel. Christmas lights are up and I am noting the addresses of these houses to visit later with a shotgun. It's good they have marked themselves out. It's kind of like putting crosses on doors. How appropriate. Nearly spent £170 on a joypad last night before I realised I wasn't drunk and I couldn't do it. The man that has ripped me off a game got his refund. That doesn't sound correct but as no-one is reading this I don't give a...

If I was drinking I would find you. If I was drinking I would stalk you across the internet. If I was drinking I would say something stupid. If I was drinking I would do something that would destroy me. But I'm not. So this time maybe I can have nice things. Maybe?

It's an auto immune disease. My body hates itself so much it makes itself ill. I was in a plane crash in the desert and only myself and three other people survived. We wandered in the desert lost for weeks and would have starved to death if it wasn't for the extra skin my body produced. Was it cannibalism or was it just survival? The sun beat down and the vitamins hit me and I started to heal. The one time my disease was proving useful it started to get better. Then we realised we were actually on a beach in Wales and not stranded in a desert. We went to the pub and had a pie and it all came back. I started to shed again. I don't know if you are being kind or if it is the first move in a pointless game of chess. A game that I have no chance of winning. 'Always look on the bright side of life' they say. It is always night here. There is always a total eclipse. Played 'Spiderman' or rather 'Marvel's Spider-man' for a bit. It'...

Average. Messed around again and all alone. Sad. Yesterday I was sad because I wanted to be alone. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? Black Friday is everywhere and has consumed everything into a hole of stuff. I big hole of stuff that no-one needs. I need it, but nobody else does. Had some fish and chips. It was nice. Moaned a lot. Less nice. I want something to drink but we don't have anything and the queues in the shops are too big due to people really needing a new TV. Why are they waiting for a new TV in a newsagents? Spoke to randoms and told them lies. I became the fantasy. A girl posted her birthday card for everyone to read. Lot of names. All saying nothing. All saying the same thing. It might as well have been rubber stamped. Over and over and over again. TV is on and making sounds. Blowing colours at me. I need a new one. A bigger one. A louder one that I can ignore. I hope the newsagents is still open. I don't know why I started this. I just did. Th...

Another day where I just stand there and have things thrown at me. 'This is happening and you have to deal with it' I don't think that's fair. I like routine. I like things to be regular. It helps me not want to kill myself. I try my best to keep things on a level and keep to a routine that will keep me sane. Why does everyone else insist on trying to derail me? 'That's just life' they say. It doesn't have to be. Life can be a straight line with a few waves in it. There is nothing you can do about a few waves. Waves happen. You can stand on the beach and watch them. Life doesn't have to be a Tsunami. If you want your life to be chaos then thats fine. Have at it. Enjoy. I don't want that. I can't cope with that. Please someone tell me that's ok. People tell me I am wrong. I am not normal and it makes me feel sad. I think I said I am lonely. I am lonely. This might be why.

Cold, wet and miserable. And the weather is terrible as well. More things arrive to make my life more stressful. Yes you just dig the hole because you feel like it and someone else will fill it in for you. No, really dig away. I know you want to dig a hole and it doesn't matter if anyone else wants a hole. You dig away. Wanted to play my game but there was, of course, an update so I couldn't do that for three hours and that was way past my bed time. Struggled to find a book to read because I want something simple and nice and all I seem to have is confusing and overcomplicated. Why? So that's about it. Another nothing day where nothing happens. Checked on the gram and someone had liked a picture of 'The Scream'. Well worth existing there isn't it? Well worth existing anywhere.

Can't talk much. First dates is on. Watched some Wrestling. Bought a couple of games in the sales that I will no doubt have no time to play. Tidied up a little bit. Went to work, got annoyed. Was mortified to notice half my skin was on the floor as I left. Came home and said hi to Mum and Dad. Ate Tortilla Chips (not Doritos) with some cheese on for tea. And popcorn. And crisps. Played a bit of Red Dead Redemption which annoyed me. Played a bit of Black Ops 4 which I am gash at. Like really gash. Arms hurt so distracted myself. Had a cup of tea. Watched First Dates. Here we are. I am very lonely.

Today was all about going to see the remake of Suspiria So watched some wrestling that made me cry and reminded me WHY I watch wrestling. Went to the shop and bought my body weight in sweets to eat at the cinema then on to the film. There is only once cinema near me showing it and only one showing I can go to so thats where I headed at 1:45 on a Sunday afternoon. I made my way to a cinema that was more like someone front room with three leather sofas, two arm chairs and some other stuff in there. I was first in there so took the sofa in the middle. I am always super paranoid about things like this is tickets were bought well in advance because obviously it would sell out. It didn't. There were 11 people in there. Many adverts. Many more than I thought. A trailer for a film about a holiday that has passed. A trailer for a film about an 80's ITV show. Then the film. Suspiria is one of my favourite films and that last film that scared me about 30 years ago. This wa...

Different day. Same people. Just less of them. That somehow makes it better. So tired. Coughing coughing coughing. Keeping me awake all night. Making me feel like I am on a car journey down twisty roads. I worry not for your health but for the fact I may not be able to go to the cinema. What is wrong with me? An interesting discussion on if gender reassignment changes your sexuality. Who knows? I should look it up. Be a little bit less ignorant. Aside from that nothing to report. Something wet is leaking from me. I don't know what it is but think it might be little spots of blood. It seems clear. I should go to the Doctor but I know they will just fob me off and nothing will get better. It get's dark so early. I slept for a little while. I don't know how long. It might have been five minutes. It's cold and its miserable. I am miserable and cold. I am turning into a reptile.

Going in to work when you don't have to is never a good idea. It just never works out. Things happen that annoy and all the time you are thinking... 'I chose to be here' The cool kids just mess around until one of the cooler kids arrive and then they are all grown up and responsible. The annoying thing is that the cooler kids seem to fall for this. I guess they are not that cool after all. It's one of those days when you do your best to stay on top of things but no-one else seems to care so you are kind of wondering why you are bothering. You also discover that the most exciting thing in the world is crisps !!!!! And the cool kids don't realise that they are not actually kids any more they are in there 30's or close enough and the actual cool kids are just laughing at them. So why did I choose to be HERE? Well as ever. Something somewhere makes me want to be the best me I can be. It only lasts for ten minutes but that's all it takes. Sometimes...