Tomorrow / Today

 

The inbetween days.

Everything just floats past. It’s mostly the prescription drugs I am having to take to stop me crying. Opiates to fix my physical used to dull my mental. Floating.

The week after Christmas until just after New Year is the most transitional inbetween of them all.

It’s just there.

The inbetween days.

Where your heart is broken and you can’t hide it. To where you can hide it a bit. To when you build up your barriers and go back to being how you present yourself to the world. When the day you looked forward to the most passes and you are in the dead time when that day will come around again and become the day you look forward to the least.

The inbetween days.

Where you have to decide to fix, to traverse or to break. Two of these things you can do on your own. The hardest one you can’t,

The inbetween days.

New Year New You. You will be fitter, stronger, thinner but there is all that shit that people bought you at Christmas that you need to get rid of. All the chocolate you are going to stop eating, all the alcohol you are going to stop drinking. It needs to go somewhere right? Best get rid of it as soon as possible. In just one day if you can.

It’s pretty much the title of a Cure song as well. I must google the lyrics and see if there is anything that relates to what I am feeling now.

Yep... pretty much all of them.

This…

Go on, go on
Just walk away
Go on, go on
Your choice is made
Go on, go on
And disappear.

But the rest as well.

Waiting for the next one. One after the other. The dead time that I must fill with something.

Anything.

I just read now. Bad books about people I can’t relate to. I make myself relate because there is nothing more I can do really.