Skip to main content

A small lost thought.

Sometimes I wish I had an eating disorder. I am surrounded by people with issues. Someone who never eats and someone who never stops eating. I am just greedy with no will power. I say this munching on a cheese twist. It’s very nice by the way. 
I am surrounded by food and traces of food. Menus litter the next desk. It is always someones birthday (not mine) every day is a cake day.  No-one is ever hungry. It’s just something to do. It is comfort food. It’s what makes us happy and then makes us sad. It’s super easy to kick alcohol. It’s super not to kick food. I admire the mental illness that is bulimia, anorexia and body dysmorphia. I am aware this is a terrible terrible thing to say. This is my truth.
Today I will mostly be eating Texas BBQ sauce Pringles. Once you pop you can’t stop. There is also a tube of the Sour Cream and Onion ones. You can keep them. 
Going through a spending thing again. Looking for something that will make me happy. One by one and onto the next one. I don’t actually want the thing I just seem to like buying the thing and adding it to the pile of things. A big pile of things. 
One of the four sins. I can control one. Let’s move on to the next one. Let’s try to control two of them. Which one next? Which way next?
Quiz time, I am sure we have had this one before. All the answers are ‘The Simpsons’
This quiz is the forever. It’s quite fun today.
There are lots of people here who are openly being paid for doing nothing. When it all falls apart no-one will be surprised. At least it’s not like the last place where they were giving away televisions and girl bands every other week. They imported a beach there. It was untold. Then they went bankrupt.
The world is run by idiots. I run the world.
Playing Red Dead Redemption again from the beginning. I lost it all 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Penultimate

This is not a suicide note.  I am not allowed to do that. That would make me the bad guy. If things were a bit different though I would deffo be eating toast in the bath. I hope I get ill again. That would be perfect. The only problem with getting ill last time was that I got better. I was ready. I was ‘at peace’. Then, as now, I have had enough. I am always tired, I always hurt. I am never shown any love and I don’t really do anything I enjoy. All the things I am supposed to enjoy either I don’t or I get stopped from doing by other people who are supposed to care about me. I am now old enough to know I will never get what I want in my life. This is it, my best days are behind me and I wasted them on making do. The sun comes out and I get sunburn in the hope that it will fix my skin. In the hope it will make me better. It just makes my skin fall off in different ways and hurt from a new angle. I look for stuff to fill the box I live in. The space is getting smaller and ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Nightclubbing

 Who? I know this one’s name. Debbi. With an I and no e. She told me that a few times. She told me a lot of things. Over and over again. Pretty with make-up prettier without. I thought she was just another girl out for a night out. Another party girl. Out with her friends who seemed not to be there right now. Where were they? Why has they left her like this? Who would abandon someone this drunk? She wasn’t drunk though. She had just been made to look that way.   Where? On a kind of upholstered bench in a club in Nottingham that had seen better days. Everything in there was something you could get stuck to. Everything in there had all the fluids spilt on it at some point. A place where the lights had gone out and not yet been replaced. Somewhere that was the same today as it was in the 70’s. She was collapsed in on herself. Leaning slightly to the left and looking peaceful as she dribbled on herself. Her glass had toppled over spilling whatever was in it all over whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more