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The Haze

The medication I take to sleep loses me the first part of the morning.

Everything happens around me and I stumble through demands as best I can.

If I don't take medication I don't sleep and the whole day is this. Plus I am in a bad mood which makes other people suffer.

I am awaiting the fallout. The fallout is coming. I know you so well. Attack Attack Attack. You don't have the skill set to fall back. You don't know empathy. I remember you when you were me. You weren't perfect. I remember.

Too many people are pretending to be happy and full of fun at this time of morning. I look at them and I can see through the window. They are dying inside. We are all dying inside. Even you are dying inside. It happens. We are not butterflies. We are not waiting to be reborn.

There is always dirt on the glass. There is always a fog. I clean and I clean and it doesn't go away. Then I realise. The fog is on my eyes. I am clouding over.

I have destroyed by back. I have been sitting around so long it is fused and I can't stand up. It will pass. It always passes. One day it won't pass. I stay sitting down.

I need to put the walls up now. I need to rebuild. To prepare. Do the opposite of what is expected. Confusion is next.

We are approaching 1000. A random 1000 have come across me. Wandered by mistake. Or maybe its just one person reccuring. Thank you.

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