Skip to main content

January 12th

This is a good place for me.

I can vent here when I am drunk and not upset people like I used to. It's better than taking to Twitter, Facebook, Myspace or Friends Reunited and abusing some poor innocent person over the internet.

Yep. Got drunk. It was rubbish. It's always rubbish.

Based on the principle of 'I've had one drink, I might as well have all the others' I went back to drunk town. Everyone waved and said 'hello' 'we missed you' and all the other pleasantries they keep for me. I didn't like it. I would sooner have read my book.

I think it's just the principle of not having that first drink or anything at all. To be fair it was all stuff other people have given me. I haven't got myself any alcohol in a while. Certainly not at the level I was 2 or so years ago when I used to go through a bottle of spirits a night.

Last time I did that was on my birthday last year. I think that's the only time I did it all year. It cost me about £3k on my birthday. Just because being drunk gives me an excuse to do other bad things. I know I am doing them but I tell myself its not under my control even though it is. Sucks to be me. 

Anyhow enough whining.

This room smells.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Penultimate

This is not a suicide note.  I am not allowed to do that. That would make me the bad guy. If things were a bit different though I would deffo be eating toast in the bath. I hope I get ill again. That would be perfect. The only problem with getting ill last time was that I got better. I was ready. I was ‘at peace’. Then, as now, I have had enough. I am always tired, I always hurt. I am never shown any love and I don’t really do anything I enjoy. All the things I am supposed to enjoy either I don’t or I get stopped from doing by other people who are supposed to care about me. I am now old enough to know I will never get what I want in my life. This is it, my best days are behind me and I wasted them on making do. The sun comes out and I get sunburn in the hope that it will fix my skin. In the hope it will make me better. It just makes my skin fall off in different ways and hurt from a new angle. I look for stuff to fill the box I live in. The space is getting smaller and ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Nightclubbing

 Who? I know this one’s name. Debbi. With an I and no e. She told me that a few times. She told me a lot of things. Over and over again. Pretty with make-up prettier without. I thought she was just another girl out for a night out. Another party girl. Out with her friends who seemed not to be there right now. Where were they? Why has they left her like this? Who would abandon someone this drunk? She wasn’t drunk though. She had just been made to look that way.   Where? On a kind of upholstered bench in a club in Nottingham that had seen better days. Everything in there was something you could get stuck to. Everything in there had all the fluids spilt on it at some point. A place where the lights had gone out and not yet been replaced. Somewhere that was the same today as it was in the 70’s. She was collapsed in on herself. Leaning slightly to the left and looking peaceful as she dribbled on herself. Her glass had toppled over spilling whatever was in it all over whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more