Skip to main content

January 12th

This is a good place for me.

I can vent here when I am drunk and not upset people like I used to. It's better than taking to Twitter, Facebook, Myspace or Friends Reunited and abusing some poor innocent person over the internet.

Yep. Got drunk. It was rubbish. It's always rubbish.

Based on the principle of 'I've had one drink, I might as well have all the others' I went back to drunk town. Everyone waved and said 'hello' 'we missed you' and all the other pleasantries they keep for me. I didn't like it. I would sooner have read my book.

I think it's just the principle of not having that first drink or anything at all. To be fair it was all stuff other people have given me. I haven't got myself any alcohol in a while. Certainly not at the level I was 2 or so years ago when I used to go through a bottle of spirits a night.

Last time I did that was on my birthday last year. I think that's the only time I did it all year. It cost me about £3k on my birthday. Just because being drunk gives me an excuse to do other bad things. I know I am doing them but I tell myself its not under my control even though it is. Sucks to be me. 

Anyhow enough whining.

This room smells.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Penultimate

This is not a suicide note.  I am not allowed to do that. That would make me the bad guy. If things were a bit different though I would deffo be eating toast in the bath. I hope I get ill again. That would be perfect. The only problem with getting ill last time was that I got better. I was ready. I was ‘at peace’. Then, as now, I have had enough. I am always tired, I always hurt. I am never shown any love and I don’t really do anything I enjoy. All the things I am supposed to enjoy either I don’t or I get stopped from doing by other people who are supposed to care about me. I am now old enough to know I will never get what I want in my life. This is it, my best days are behind me and I wasted them on making do. The sun comes out and I get sunburn in the hope that it will fix my skin. In the hope it will make me better. It just makes my skin fall off in different ways and hurt from a new angle. I look for stuff to fill the box I live in. The space is getting smaller and ...

The Last Sunflower

  This is love. This is from a place of love. This is from love island. I am an internet stalker. I watch and I look. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I cry. I like to know that you are ok. Are you ok? You seem ok. You seem happy. That makes me happy. I am glad you are where you are right now. Even if it killed me to get you there. Slowly. I am transitional. I am the inbetweener. I do it all the time. I hope it works out for everyone. It never really works out for me, but I get people there. That is my X-Man power.  When I met you, you were pretending to be happy. You weren’t happy although you had the sweetest smile. It even spread to your eyes sometimes when you weren’t looking. Super cute. Supergirl.  I used to listen to you telling everyone how blissful you were. I believed you. I believed you for about a year. Then I found out that wasn’t the case. Bruises and all. And then we were happy for a bit Not for very long. Just for a bit and why? Why would you be happy with ...